British Television Awards Round Up!

Last night saw the '25th Annual National Television awards for mainly ITV shows' held at the O2 arena in London Town.

Here is a brief round up of some of the winners:

Ant n Dec acted surprised at winning the ''Best Presenter'' award for Saturday Night Takeaway despite having won it for the last 30 years, triumphing over Davina McCall from Big Brother, Dermot O'Dreary from The X Factor and Lolly Badcock from Babestation. An excited Dec said ''By Christ this arenas big, it's bigger than Piers Morgan's ego!''.

''Best Soap opera'' was voted for by the public and was won by Coronation Street, Eastenders accepted the award on their behalf (pictured above) as Coronation Street were unable to attend with actor Larry Lamb saying ''Typical, give the British public the chance to fuck something up and they will!''

The new award for ''Best programme starring Piers Morgan'' was won by 'One man and his Ego', a show in which the smug Morgan goes on a soul searching journey round the world telling people how great he is and how much money he's got!.

The award for ''If they were that talented in the first place they wouldn't need to go on X Factor or Britain's Got Talent'' went to everybody who had that little charisma or talent that they needed to go on X Factor or Britain's Got Talent.

''Stupidest/Most Unbelievable Storyline'' award went to Hollyoaks for the 15th year in a row with the story of Tony, having run out of people to sleep with in Chester deciding to have an affair with himself!.

The ''Are you havin a laugh?'' award when to some annoying Loose Women for the show Loose Women.

The ''Whats Frank Lampard got that I haven't?'' award went to The One Show's Adrian Chiles, beating competition from Frank Lampard.

The last of the big awards was the prestigious ''Most Annoying Twat on Television'', which this year was given to Richard Hammond for any appearance he has ever made on the small screen.

Clarksons announce split!

Popular celebrity couple Jeremy and Kelly Clarkson (pictured above in happier times) has announced on their website they are going to split up with immediate effect!.

The couple who have been married for 20 years both say they have put up with each other for far too long and are leaving to pursue other love interests.

Although rarely seen together in public they did attend the recent premier of the new Police Academy movie 'Police Academy 25- Cops with Alzheimer's, but refused to talk to the press. Although at one point they were heard bickering about whether or not to have salty or sweet popcorn!.

An family friend who wishes to remain anonymous called James May told us ''This has been coming for a while, theres a few reasons but the main ones are that cos Jeremy is 10 years younger than Kelly he wants to go out all the time and shes just not bothered!, also he spends all his time with me and the little over enthusiastic fella who can't remember much''.

Clarkson (Kelly) is also thought to have become frustrated at her husbands really bad books, his ego, his stupid clothes, the fact he still does Alan Partridge impressions, his curly hair and the fact he's a personal friend of Conservative Leader David Cameron!.