SUBO's SUMO Album Sales

Susan Boyle's debut album which is titled 'Bet you wish your girlfriend looked like me!?!' has single handedly saved the music industry according to leading music so called experts. The album which was cynically released just in time for Christmas sold 7 million copies before it had even been recorded and is credited with saving HMV from going into administration, as 99.9% of the retailers sales in the last month have been the Britain's Got Talent star. Boyle (47, despite what she looks) was unavailable for comment as she was having one of her turns.
HMV spokesman Ian Brillcream said 'At the rate that this is selling, everyone in the world will have a copy of the album by Christmas. I know people who are buying 2 or 3 copies just in case they wear out the first CD they bought!!, we not had scenes like this at HMV since Robson and Jerome were alive'.

Rihanna gets drenched when she forgets umbrella!

Pop music punchbag Rihanna got caught out in the rain last night after she was turned away from the KoKo club in London Town where she was meant to be hosting her own birthday party!. Doormen turned the singer (famous for the song Raindrops keep falling on my head) away from the club because she was sporting a black eye (given to her for her birthday by boyfriend Chris Brown), and they thought 'she might be trouble!'
After an awkward 20 argument she admitted defeat and trudged off in the heavy rain, one onlooker said 'bet she wishes she'd brought her umbrella now!'.

Stacey even annoys us!! say parents

X Factors annoyingly voiced finalist Stacey Solomon's parents have admitted that 'she annoys us as much as she's annoying everyone else!'. The essex girl nicknamed 'the hyperactive poodle' has driven her family mad on countless occasions and it transpires that they signed her up on the ITV show just to get rid of her for a bit! When asked if the rumoured relationship with Stacey and Olly Murs was genuine Mrs Solomon said 'I can't see it can you?!, would you want to spend time with that if you didn't have too?! No course not!'.

POSH SPICE 'I've stopped using fake tan!'

Victoria Beckham has sensationally revealed to Bizarre News that she has stopped using fake tan!. Speaking last night she said 'the fake tan is gone!, its like Rebecca Loo's......gone forever...... never again.....it's just not brown enough, I've started using a well known brand of wood protector instead, it's great cos I look even more tanned plus I'm protected against bad weather for the next 10 years! Then she lashed out against the critics of her unusual coloured skin 'People have a go at me, but they never have a go at Whitney Houston do they!?, thats a type of racism!'.