Reports in Lapland are stating that foul mouthed rotund present giver Santa Claus (pictured above) has not yet returned home following his worldwide whistle stop Christmas Eve delivering session.
His wife Tracey Claus spoke on Lapland's main TV channel, 'he's never been this late before, don't get me wrong....he likes a drink or two as he does his rounds but its been nearly two weeks so even if he curled up in somebody's shed or summat to get over his hangover you'd av thought he'd be home by now!?!? i don't want to upset the kids but I'm getting a bit worried myself!'.
The news of Santa being missing will only add fuel to the Lapland gossip mongers who were reporting that only a week before Christmas he was spotted with a mystery blonde who at the time SC described as 'just a friend, we were just talking about presents and shit!......theres nowt goin on!'.
According to a inside source though it's common knowledge that Claus has an eye for female bodied humans and is very keen to make his image 'a little more bad boy' which would indicate that he has eloped with one of his special lady friends, but if anybody has any information on Mr Claus's whereabouts they should phone Lapland police on 00001 000001.
Based on a tip from Nick Burgin
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