Government experts are refusing to rule out the possibility that the current adverse snow and ice conditions blighting large parts of the United Britain have been sent by different sets of Al Qaeda terrorist groups (suspected terrorists pictured above preparing big snowball attack!).
The bad weather has hit Britain where the majority of the work gets done (the north) with the worst snowfall since the last time there was a big snowfall and the time before that. The government minister in charge of the Counter Snow Terrorism group Harry Gration issued the warning based on a tip off he read on an Arabic website in Hebrew translated into French, Dutch and Irish.
The minister also warned the public against the ground sleeper cells that Al Qaeda might have trained to 'raise hell' in towns and villages whilst the snow is on the ground. Gration said 'It is our fear that terrorists have trained children not at school to target members of the public.... especially idiots who have taken to the streets on skis just to show off! pretentious bastards!!. Plus, they could be using snowballs loaded with snow really packed in tight so that it really hurts!. The thing about terrorists is, they know how to hit us at our weak spot, and if snow falls we grind to a halt, so it makes sense that the snow and aggressive children with snowballs are Al Qaeda terrorists!'.
Another technique that Bizarre News has heard that terrorists might be using during this cold snap to disrupt Britain, is buying all the bread and milk from stores such as One Stop, Spar and Ma Hubbard's local village shop. Penistone (In Yorkshire) villager Brian Dewdrop commented 'If theres one thing that really pisses off a Yorkshire man its not being able to buy bread and milk!, and if I find I can't get hold of my copy of Yorkshire Today newspaper theres gonna be proper trouble!'.
The bad weather has hit Britain where the majority of the work gets done (the north) with the worst snowfall since the last time there was a big snowfall and the time before that. The government minister in charge of the Counter Snow Terrorism group Harry Gration issued the warning based on a tip off he read on an Arabic website in Hebrew translated into French, Dutch and Irish.
The minister also warned the public against the ground sleeper cells that Al Qaeda might have trained to 'raise hell' in towns and villages whilst the snow is on the ground. Gration said 'It is our fear that terrorists have trained children not at school to target members of the public.... especially idiots who have taken to the streets on skis just to show off! pretentious bastards!!. Plus, they could be using snowballs loaded with snow really packed in tight so that it really hurts!. The thing about terrorists is, they know how to hit us at our weak spot, and if snow falls we grind to a halt, so it makes sense that the snow and aggressive children with snowballs are Al Qaeda terrorists!'.
Another technique that Bizarre News has heard that terrorists might be using during this cold snap to disrupt Britain, is buying all the bread and milk from stores such as One Stop, Spar and Ma Hubbard's local village shop. Penistone (In Yorkshire) villager Brian Dewdrop commented 'If theres one thing that really pisses off a Yorkshire man its not being able to buy bread and milk!, and if I find I can't get hold of my copy of Yorkshire Today newspaper theres gonna be proper trouble!'.
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